Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Proof that evolution can go in reverse. Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl. One taco short of a combination plate. A few feathers short of a whole duck. All foam, no beer. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.

Too much yardage between the goalposts. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. No grain in the silo. Fell out of the family tree. Receiver is off the hook. Several nuts short of a full pouch. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. ~Unknown

March 31 Thoughts